Out and about

We flew home from Hanoi on Tuesday afternoon.

We had missed a Preparation Day (Monday) so I stayed home on Wednesday to do needed housework, laundry and class preparations while Lewis did his usual teaching at K Hospital.  The other missionaries came to our apartment for English class meeting in the afternoon and then we taught the intermediate English class that the young missionaries sponsor at the church.  The classes consist of an hour of English instruction and then, for those who wish to stay on, up to 30 minutes of gospel instruction. Elder Thanh (Todd Tran) presented the story of the prodigal son and did a fine job.  It is his favorite parable and one he is grateful for, he says.

Thursday morning was more study and lesson preparations at home. The afternoon was pathology consults and English instruction at hospital 108.  As we exited the hospital afterwards, one of they young doctors commented "I hope that when we are old, my husband and I will walk holding hands like you do."  Yup, that's us.  The sweet little old couple that holds hands.  Holding hands is not common between spouses here.  We get comments like hers fairly frequently from young wives.  One, who attended our first family class series told me that, though they do not hold hands in public, they have recently established the habit of holding hands while falling asleep.  I think that's sweet.

After dinner on Thursday Lewis had the elders quorum presidency meeting here and did more leadership training using the online resources available.  Though the one he used that night was in English and so there was some dedicated explaining and translating going on, there's a good-hearted elder in Phnom Penh who has been working on making closed caption Vietnamese for some of those for which we are grateful to him.

Friday was more teaching at K Hospital, time in the late afternoon spent preparing for Saturday's Family Relations class and then time with Elders Thanh and Le to visit Brother H. and his wife and the 18 month old granddaughter they are taking care of for a few months.  Lewis and he are almost the same age and I sensed that they both enjoyed the conversation and getting to know each other better and a sense of both the faith that is and the sense of future service together that might be down the road if H's plans to resume attendance materialize.

Most of Saturday was spent at a YSA sponsored branch outing  to Sơn Tinh Camp, a sort of campground/group conference facility near a national park about 45 minutes west of Hanoi. It was quiet and peaceful when we arrived at about 7:30 in the morning...

One of my favorite shots: V, a young single adult, chatting with two three-year olds who were part of our group that day.

but it quickly filled up with various school, company and other groups who came by bus to enjoy a cool Saturday away from the city.  About 16 of us from the branch went and it was a pleasant day of picnicking, walking, and playing field games (the latter with some mutually enjoyed hilarity), celebrating the birthday of one of the participants and generally enjoying "wholesome, recreational activities".

 I also enjoyed getting to know Sister G. better.  She's about 10 years younger than I and a serious person and up until now my lack of language skills our mutual non-gregariousness have made it difficult to get to know each other.  But the less formal circumstances, combined with the fact that we were the oldest women there, made creating bridges easier and I think we both enjoyed that.  She was very considerate and is a person inclined to quietly help and take care of things with great competence.

And Lewis and I  had some good conversations with people who just stopped to talk to us and practice their English and then get into more detailed conversations in Vietnamese with him about why we are here and what we are doing.  The two of us and our brown hair and L's height made us obviously noticeable out as "two of these things are not like the others"  amidst the many people that were using the outdoor facilities, and the relaxed environment seemed to make some people feel more inclined to stop and introduce themselves and ask questions.  So we met some very engaging people.

We got back in time to be able to quickly go home and change and eat (rather than change clothes at the church and not eat) before we taught the Family Relations class that evening.  It went well.  There was truth spoken, good comments by students, laughter, and the Spirit of God was there.  We feel particularly blessed as our preparation time was limited this week and we felt the extra inspiration and grace that came to compensate for that.

Reunions

When we were first married we attended a one-man show that spoofed on the traditional family reunions that had occurred for a generation of our peers and our parents generation, and perhaps longer. Certain comic lines from the "Farley Family Reunion" are still embedded in my brain although that was over 30 years ago, both because they were hilarious, but also because they bore enough connections to the truth of our experiences that we could laugh at ourselves and our cousins.

We've been to many reunions since then, and participated in planning many, including one with my Hassell cousins just 7 months ago. We came away charged with renewed insight into who we are, what kind of people our ancestors were that got the family rolling, and strengthened bonds between us as cousins and relations. And we also laughed at ourselves, as the older we get the more like ourselves we become! We shared a few tears, treated gingerly the aging joints, or tender emotions that age and experience bring. But mostly we just enjoyed being together, alive for another season. That was part of the joy in this event honoring MB's parents in 2014.

        

When our extended family of church brothers and sisters gathers, we usually call it a "conference" instead of a reunion, but in reality it is the same. And God's purposes in calling us together for such is not all that different than what my Hassell cousins and I experienced, a greater sense of who we are, who we are connected to, and what we can become as we grow older and wiser. We share wisdom one with another, encourage those who are in crisis, stabilize the aged, pass the leadership batons, and just enjoy being with each other. This weekend, we gathered for such with the Ho Chi Minh city saints in person, and via streaming with the smaller group assembled in Hanoi. It was fun to see these old friends, discover new friends and hear of successes, struggles and an occasional sorrow.

       

I loved seeing some of the recently returned sister missionaries that we had worked with in Hanoi and elsewhere, and seeing how they are adjusting to their new lives. It was good also to catch up with some of the relocated Hanoi branch members who are attending school or working in HCM now, as seen here, sisters My and Khanh Linh.

                     

The room filled up nicely for the adult sesion on Saturday evening, although the technology made the experience somewhat frustrating to the saints in Hanoi. But that painful lesson brought the admonition to pony up and get more bandwidth and better equipment. "This isn't the last time we are going to do this" observed Elder Funk. 

For me, the most tender moments of the reunion/conference were the feelings evoked as several speakers spoke of the importance of strengthening the links to our forefathers who have gone ahead of us on life's path and made possible many of those things we enjoy here. In Vietnam, which has a very strong tradition of recording and preserving family events in the Family Book, and of celebrating days of remembrance for ancestors death dates, coming to understand the divine purpose in such traditions is important, and powerfully tender. Somehow it was almost as if those many generations of diligent record-keeping forebears were looking down upon this small gathering of young, mostly new church members with a high degree of expectations-- the hopes that their righteous lives would lead them to remember them most meaningfully in bringing their names to the House of the Lord in redemptive love.

The other particularly poignant moments were in the final gathering as we listened to the young single adults in the congregation ask questions that were in their hearts- "How do I find a worthy husband when the church is so small?" "What if I feel scared to marry, or don't want to marry at all?" "What if I feel I have found the right person and they seem uninterested in me?" It seems easy for one looking from the perspective of over 35 years of marriage to give blithe answers to "hang in there" "be patient" and so forth. But for so many who come out of homes without worthy, worthwhile models of husband-wife relationships, it will not be easy. It will require tremendous faith, courage and effort. They are pioneering in so many more ways than they know, but that trial will also be their blessing, and their heritage to pass on to their children and grandchildren if they will carry on. God didn't make a plan for them with the intent to have it fail. Such were the faithful words from their very mouths.

                     

It was also a wonderful weekend to just reconnect to loved ones such as this fine young lady, who sat by me all during the conference, proudly carrying her award from her first piano recital, and lovingly playing with my missionary tag, stroking my hand and occasionally sharing a secret thought softly.

                    

She'll one day be delighting others with her talents as well as her smile and friendliness.

We can scarecely dare post this without commenting on the major event of the week, the "Ngay Nha Giao Vietnam" or Vietnam Teacher's Day. I posted some of my thoughts about this tradition on my Facebook account, so I won't repeat them here in whole. But it struck me that this is a genuinely noble thought that should both inspire better teaching, as well as remind us of what it takes to be a great teacher. While like Mother's Day or Woman's Day, it might be seen from a crass perspective to be only a means to sell more cards and flowers (the Flower markets do do extremely well on this day as that is the preferred recognition) still, the concept that we all have benefited from particularly outstanding teachers should evoke gratitude first and foremost. But hopefully we all realize that whether we like it or not, we are also teachers for others, and in that respect, we must strive to become more like the Master Teacher, Jesus Christ. As we do so, our teaching becomes enduring and impactful for good.

      

This very generous and fragrant bouquet came from some of our wonderful students at the hospital. So fragrant in fact, that we wonder if Apple or Google can bankroll some means to imprint that part of the memory along with the digital pixels of the image, whether we would ever need to buy flowers again!

Another highlight of our stay in HCM has been the chance to get to know some of our fellow-servants, the Hymas's from Utah. Their apartment is a bit newer than ours, and located with a very pleasant view of the Saigon river, both by day and night. Getting to compare notes on their experiences has been good and an added benefit of the reunion. (I do remember a few wonderful sleepovers with cousins for such events growing up!) Their replacement here is not yet called, so I'll tease you doubly with the view.

                      

Even though they are six floors up and have double pane, tight fitting windows, there are still a few cocks that can be heard from this neighborhood below. It also has a church out of view whose bells were a pleasant sound this morning as well. The view to the opposite side would have featured a very large pagoda complex on the other side of the Hanoi highway here. Their apartment tower complex boasts a rather posh gym and stunning pool complex that further reinforces the view that "life is better in the south." Fortunately we didn't come looking for amenities! But if you are, we can find a job for you to do here!

                      

We find ourselves wakening each morning with the thought "I can't believe we're here!" which depending on your use of tones (and believe me we are learning a lot about how a different tone changes the meaning!) that reads as "what have we gotten ourselves into?" or "what joy we have in work God has given us!" This little reunion has bolstered the number of mornings when it will be the latter, and strengthened us a bit to push patiently through those days when the tones evoke more of the former. And we'll look forward to our next reunion with you, in person, in spirit, in virtuae, or however. 

   

Peddling

Peddling is a mode of trade that is as old as mankind no doubt. The origin of the word may be hidden in the entymology of our Greek, Latin and who knows what heritage. But in our current corner of the world, the English word might easily be mis-spelled by the novice with a single 'd' given that the bicycle, and therefore literal "pedaling" are so universally associated with the trade. It is actually such a delight at times to see the adaptability of the bicycle to the mobile worker and salesman.

      

This fellow for example, makes us wonder how "Fred" and friends ever survive in a city where these are available in every neighborhood. And with this in mind, we do wish to admit that after capturing two and trapping two of the small rodents in our apartment, there have been no more direct sightings, although a few calling cards warn us that the clan may be inclined to be more "clan-destine" in their operations! And it's really only been a few hours since the last capture. We might start a lottery on how long it will be to the next one.

Several mornings a week, we will pass women adorned in the traditional conical non-la (literally "leaf-hat") heading down one of the main boulevards with their bicycles fully stocked with feather dusters, straw mats and so forth, usually quite uniformly arranged, as though countless ages before them have designed the perfect lay-out for display and relative amounts of product mix required to please their customers.

More seasonally, flower-sellers stand by their bicycles with arrangements or bunches of lillies, lotus, orchids, gladiolus, chrysanthemum and roses to adorn family altars or office rooms. I've been interested to note that these are often discaarded while still (to my eye) near their prime, though this may be a function of our neighborhood of business houses, and upper class larger dwellings. 

Fruit vendors are a bit more random,

       

depending on the crop of the season, but large wire baskets, and broad trays of woven reeds display pomelo, limes, madarins, and other citrus, as well as other fruits. 

For those without the means of a bicycle, hand-carried trays of small items- hair clips, lighters, key-chains, and playing cards are often plied to those relaxing at a sidewalk refreshment station. And this morning, I saw a pair of pack-back carrying boys toting nice shoes between lunch spots to tempt the patrons. 

      

Somewhere hidden beneath this array of colorful temptations to the childhood imagination is a two wheeled bicylce and it's rider. Wide-angle mirrors required! Besides conventional produce sales, toys and household supplies, we've been interested to observe what kind of scale this trade operates on in these low-overhead situations. One of the best bargains in this country is the availability of crisp baggettes, a fine heritage of the French colonial period. The mass-marketer of VN and other parts of SE Asia is "Big C" which has one of it's larger outlets a 15 minute walk from our home. Among their discount offerings are fantastic, fresh from the oven baggettes in various sizes, but the most popular is the 400g size running the length at around 36 inches, which on today's sales tape were offered at 5,500 VND, or just under 25 cents. So it probably shouldn't surprise me that whenever we go to buiy them there are often a number of other retailers in line literally filling their carts with loaves to resell along the roadway or marketplaces within a radius of the center. Even considering their markup of something on the order of 50-75% they have to turn a lot of volume to cover living expenses.

                                  

I'll conclude this peddling post with a short comment about what constitutes a bicycle here, and therefore is able to avoid license fees and the obligation to wear a helmet, though it is still a good idea. Looking at this line-up of four vehicles, it might be rather hard to detect which two fall under the definition of "bicycle."

        

My finger in the photo hides the clue of one, which actually does retain "pedals" in the event the battery exhaustion, but the fourth cycle looks more like a lean Vespa-style motorbike, without any pedals and a large battery to power it through it's range of 60-80 km. Most are lead-acid driven, but some run on higher efficiency batteries. Given the number of small engines running this city, we are supportive of efforts to go a little "greener."     

While we are neither "pedal-ers" nor "peddlers" there are some who might sometimes think of our search for new members and our teaching as a sort of sales pitch we seek to make to as many potential customers as possible. But our experience with what we are doing is anything but "transactional" in nature. It is highly relational, meaning that the interactions we have are establishing relationships, friendships and brotherhood, often deep beyond words, fulfilling as only love-based experiences can be. When we return home tired and worn, it is not from the depth of physical exertion, but from the emotional exhaustion of having drawn out our hearts to the extreme to nurture, soothe, comfort, instruct and love others. And yet that emotional or spiritual fatigue is immensely motivating and validating. After a recent day in which our hours were spent comforting and counseling with a wife who was at the end of her emotional rope (and hence leaking tears of sorrow and frustration) with a marriage in which the walls and barriers were high and thick, meeting with leaders who were also anxious about the stability of the branch seemingly held together with baling wire in some areas, and flimsy wet noodles in others but who were nevertheless determined to never let it fail, and then teaching our class to a mix of grandmothers, mothers, future fathers, and aging maids, followed by another period of comforting individually those who were struggling with a child, or the (not helpful) angry response of a spouse to a confused and scared child who was retreating into his own escape zone, we returned home with a sigh of fatigue, but incredibly humbling awe that God had put us here in a position to minister to these very needs. The challenge to "pedal" his bike, to pass along his balm, and to love his children in all their joys and hurts as He does, is great, but also greatly satisfying beyond words.

One further joyful moment that deserves mention was being part of the joy and exhileration as young NQT opened his mission call this afternoon. The combination of anticipation, eagerness, excitement, fear, and elation as the suspense was pushed aside to read of his call to the Cambodia Phnom Penh mission was sweet. But far sweeter was the powerful hug we shared as this commonality of effort and purpose was celebrated and contemplated. 

                                     

        

A few glimpses of the past couple of weeks

V's grandmother and uncle.  Grandmother is ninety three years old.  Don't you just love her smile?

View from the pedestrian boulevard overpass on our way home after our trip to visit V's grandparents in Hai Zương

YSA's here to cook and eat their exotic spaghetti dinner

Small Scale

I have to admit that sometimes it seems like there are dramatically different worlds colliding here, and maybe many places around the globe. Driving by an up-scale shopping center boastiing consumer name-brand, designer goods that most of our neighbors in Oklahoma wouldn't buy and that here are probably double or more what they are in the states, often makes me wonder "who's buying this stuff?" That seems especially true when I consider that much of the economy we see from day to day is just a fraction above the lemonade stand I tried unsuccessfully to run as a nine-year old boy. 

     

   This is small scale industrial delivery-- construction materials on a moto-trailer. Further over is the fresh meat delivery motorbike hauling a couple of pig carcasses, and a bike with a load of eggs and her blue stool from which to sell them on the way to market as well.

Sidewalk "cafe's" with small plastic stools and an attendant with a chest of ice, a few bottles of drinks, perhaps some tea (and yes, the addictive cancer sticks or water-pipes favored by the local males) seem to be everywhere. They have regular customers, and often serve up wholesome items such as a rice gruel breakfast soup, bun (rice noodles) cha (fried/broiled meats) with a spicy sauce and some greens, or banh my sandwiches, pho, and so forth. Most of them stake out their sidewalk territory and run a small kitchen off a cart, or with basins and portable charcoal stoves made from #10 cans and some insulating cement filler. It is rather amazing to think about what they do day after day. Some of them are even more minimalist, selling their breakfast xoi (a sticky rice dish) out of a large basket, and serving it up onto newsprint and a plastic bag. It makes food trucks seem like fine dining. 

                       

     This "nightspot" sidewalk cafe is upscale, boasting mood lighting and parking for your moto. The street is quiet as the schoolkids behind the wall have long since gone home, and located across from the park, it adds to the romance.

                      

        You can't read the signs any longer, but this one is popular with the taxi drivers for warm gio as well as drinks.

I think the same small scale capitalism operates as well for the "peddlers" some of who are actually pedaling their wares on their bikes, loaded with a consistent array of their particular product line-- be that household needs like straw mats, straw pillows, dusters, hula-hoops, and wooden-bead car seat covers, or an array of plastic sandals, or just the wire bins filled with bushels of limes or another fruit fresh from the farm (or at least the wholesale market.) At other times, we see bikers with an array of multi-colored balloons situated outside the edge of the park or amusement area to appeal to the younger set's parents. 

A variant on this is the service providers who circulate at different times of the day and night with a megaphone blasting out their service to the neighborhood in need. It may be laminating pages with plastic (a highly useful thing in a humid climate where paper quality is sometimes low), grinding out a new key, or sharpening scissors or something. Some of the other peddlers also employ this verbal advertising to sell snacks, coffee, or other things as well. Since sometimes the recordings are similar for vendors of a particular product, it isn't impossible that they are the moving sales force of a mega-corporation, but I doubt they get much for benefits if they are. One of my language aspirations for our stay is to be able to understand exactly what these voices are calling out. So far progress is slow, but I've been heartened when I learned that some of the native sister missionaries can't exactly figure it all out either! 

Building a new church unit is very much small scale interaction as well. God's Kingdom seems rarely to be built on the basis of mass transactions, which may be why events like the Day of Pentacost are so notable as to be recorded. By and large, converting events are not mass produced or consumed, but grow out of the consistent call to prayer and repentance, and the reliable offer of service to heal and help. Most people dismiss the sounds of the peddlers in the streets here, until they have the dull scissors, or need the mousetrap (finally got Fred!) and then they readily come. As Buddha is supposed to have once said, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears." We are frankly grateful that God's plan to bring light and joy to his children happens in such a way, since we can more easily take joy in each new individual we see progressing, and take care to help them without feeling totally overwhelmed.

        

     Family class students linger to chat after learning about divinely appointed roles for parents

We can also better take care to help them to continue to grow in understanding and capability, helping them stick closer to the path they've chosen even when it get rocky or challenging. The gospel of Jesus Christ while holding the truths that answer life's most significant questions, dose not always if ever lead to a smooth gentle slope that allows one to glide easily into his outstretched arms. Inevitably people taste the goodness of the way and the sweetness of the fruit, but stumble into a change in their life that vexes them in maintaining their balance on the path. That's where we need each other in the process. As long as we are not all crazy at the same time, we can see the way to help others if we allowourselves to be led by the spirit and eagerly respond to its promptings. We've seen that a lot, and are grateful to see others catching that ability to lift others when they are near to stumbling. So often it is just the smallest word or thought that helps. One visit from a home teacher on a day that was hard, an encouraging text or email, a phone call or a hug may be all that was needed to help maintain the balance and avoid the greater pains of falling off the edge of the chasm.

I relish the chances I get to go to visit one new member in the company of another new member. Seeing them take hold of the opportunity to minister to one another as Christ did gives me great hope for the longevity of our efforts to serve here. And quite frankly, the message of Jesus Christ as taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints resonates well in this culture when they take time to consider it. This is nicely captured by a favorable article written and published in the national Religion magazine shown below with a cover photo of the delegation posing with Utah Governor Herbert and Elder Gerrit Gong, Asia Area President, and now in the Presidency of the Seventy.

      

The author of the article, on the far right in the image, brought his sons to attend our English classes recently in another show of understanding and resonance with the church's values. Such press is highly useful in breaking down barriers to acceptance of church membership by family members.

We have found that one of the benefits of working in a country with little awareness of the church is that there are not pre-conceived bias's that arouse suspicion of one's motives or message. While "rice-christians" were once a derided model of religious (non) engraftment into Vietnamese society, we do not carry that baggage the way other sects may, and since the church is recognized in a manner somewhat separate from other traditional christian groups, we have the chance to walk a separate path. In that, the challenge is to consistently and effectively build awareness of the church on the positive side so that we emerge from obscurity into the light in a way that reflects the true light of Christ. And most of the members we work with seem to have that light in their lives, even if they are still struggling forward or sometimes sideways on the path.

Heading into Fall

It is getting cooler here. Mornings are more likely to be breezy and comfortable.

It was still hot 10 days ago while Gigs was here visiting from Bangkok.  We went with him to the top of the Lotte building.  So now we have a photo of Hanoi from way up high.

And there were transfers last week, so Sister B,  headed to Cambodia.  That meant that she and Sister D. flew to Ho Chi Minh, then took a bus to Phnom Penh (6-7 hour bus ride), spent the night there and then Sister D made the return trip with her new companion, also a Sister D.

Sister B. is one of the few missionaries in the mission that speaks both Vietnamese and Kmai, having studied the latter while on her mission.  Pretty impressive, and a skill our mission president greatly appreciates.

Last Monday we traveled by bus to Hai Duong with V. to visit her calm, sweet 90 year old grandfather who has been hospitalized.  We traveled at the request of V's mother, X, who wished for Lewis to go and see him, mostly, I think, because she is worried and he is an American physician.  The grandfather has had a long and challenging life and is obviously deeply loved by his daughter and granddaughter. 

Can you catch the fond love on V.'s face?

Her grandfather has some internal bleeding in his digestive system somewhere, the source of which has not been determined, and may not be since he does not wish to undergo an endoscopy.  It was a pleasant visit, though Lewis was not convinced he was of any particular medical assistance since there was no diagnosis and no other ways to evaluate the patient other than the ways that had already been tried, or had been offered but refused.  The medical staff were clearly helping him to stabilize with blood transfusions and an IV.  So he just offered a friendly visit, confirmation that the treatment was appropriate and some friendship and goodwill.  And then we went off with V's uncle for a while so that the grandfather could rest and V. could spend a few hours with him.

It was a very good trip with V, allowing me some time for good conversation with her on the bus. (No, my Vietnamese is not good, her English is good.)  She has a very good heart.

Tuesday and Wednesday were filled with the usual District meeting, lesson preparations and teaching.  One of the nice things on Wednesday was that P. came to talk to me (I have office hours available at the hospital for anyone who wishes to talk or ask English questions while Lewis consults and lectures) and told me about some of the really good things that happened over the course of an evening with conversation with her son in which she had employed some of the communication principles we had taught in the Family Relationships class that she had attended the Saturday before.   It was very fun to hear her description of what had happened.  She has been working on improving this parent-child relationship for several weeks now and it is pretty exciting to hear about some of the good things that are happening.

She later, while we were in Phnom Penh, emailed us with a question about social media for young people, which Lewis took some good time to answer with links to some good resources and told her he'd bring her a Vietnamese copy of "For the Strength of Youth" when we come back to the hospital on Wednesday.

We were in Phnom Penh (flew there on Thursday morning) for a "Seniors' Retreat", a couple of days of meetings with Jim and Char Christensen (mission president and wife) and the other senior missionaries currently assigned to the mission:  Elder and Sister Leavitt--office support in Phnom Penh, Elder and Sister Spencer--member/leader support in Battambang, Cambodia, Elder and Sister Van Brocklin--public affairs in Phnom Penh, Elder and Sister Oveson--Perpetual Education Fund and Church Education System, also in Phnom Penh, Elder and Sister Meinser--LDSCharities in Cambodia, Elder and Sister Hymas--LDSCharities in Southern Vietnam, and Elder and Sister Noorda--LDSCharities in Northern Vietnam.  They all are doing good work and in very diverse ways.  We didn't take formal photos of us in meetings, but here are a couple of shots while we were out and about after the meetings, before we headed back to VN.

The meetings were very helpful and we came away with some good insights into the work the other senior missionaries do, how we can help support them in what they do (hurrah for working together rather than separately!), and also some insights into how to better assist and be a gentle help to the young elders and sisters we work with so far away from the mission home.  It was good.

Lewis spent a chunk of time on Sunday helping T. transfer his paper mission application onto the online version.  T. is a thoughtful, sound-thinking, hard-working, self-supporting, good young man, currently serving as a counselor in the Elders Quorum. Whichever mission president gets to work with him is, in my opinion, rather blessed in that regard.  He will be definitely missed when he departs.

And here is another photo of some of the people we love here: